You know you want it. Self-esteem that keeps you from being so hard on yourself… A respect for self that only thinks positive, accepting thoughts… Self-esteem that does not require constant validation from other people, or depend on your roles and position.
Hey, I want that for myself!
We all could use some maintenance work in the self-esteem department. But what keeps us in admiration mode – “oh yes, self-esteem is a must have.” – vs. quit mode – “I’m done with low-self esteem; I’m ready to change”?
One word – Us.
Sometimes, we are our own worse enemy. There is no “the man”, only the man in the mirror holding you back, keeping you down with what sounds good, seems logical…but is a bunch of bologna.
Listen, I’ve sold myself some of these lie-pies – yep, swallowed them whole! One of the hardest things to do sometimes is to admit you don’t have it all together in this or that area. So what do we do? We hide behind the lies we tell ourselves. We deny the existence of the problem. We play totally dumb!
But I’ve found that the more you plant denial in your heart, the more weeds bloom to choke any chance of quitting the thoughts that breed low self-esteem.
So, let’s bust some self-esteem lies, shall we? Have you ever told yourself:
Lie #1: “I DO have self-esteem, seriously…I’m good.”
The fastest way to solve a problem is to convince yourself the problem doesn’t exist. Love’s plan for your life does not include surface-scratching in ANY area. So, if you’re confident and value yourself in only a few areas of your life, but are overly critical and pessimistic in many other areas – the truth is there is still quitting work to be done. Don’t lie to yourself, manipulating a small existence of self-value to appear as if it were abundance.
Lie #2: “I’m just too hard to love; I get on my own nerves!”
Are you hiding behind dishonest humor? This lie is a poor excuse to make light of your insecurities, and resign before you even start the work of quitting. Or, perhaps this lie is a palatable paraphrase of a toxic lie someone you cared about told you. You may not be where you want to be in your life, but self-esteem is not based on being perfect or having it all together. Self-esteem is about taking an honest, non-critical look at yourself, accept the truth of where you are, and value yourself enough to make adjustments where you decide.
Lie #3: “I’m never … ; I always…”
Absolute lies are really super lies about a lie. Quitters, we are not that good or consistent to actually “never” or “always” do anything! So, when used in negative or defensive self-talk, “never” and “always” seek to draw a final, false conclusion that there is no hope – so why try? Love will not only hope against the absolute lies, but reveal the truth of just how important and worthy you are.
Lie #4: “I can’t possibly have low self-esteem; look at all I’ve accomplished!”
Isn’t it interesting how we place more esteem on our degrees, titles, or perhaps our bank accounts than we do on our true selves? What you do and the roles you play are not who you are! Our roles and accomplishments, however, are go-to hiding places for low self-esteem. We cannot allow the hats we wear and every accolade we receive to determine our worth and value. You are more than a label; you are a living soul with a unique purpose.
Lie #5: “Everybody likes me; they wouldn’t if I didn’t have self-esteem.”
The reason it’s called “self” esteem is because it’s only dependent on you – not on the acceptance and validation of others. Arrogance or over-confidence is another lie we live to hide our true feelings of self-doubt. You may be the life of the party, have social media profiles overflowing with contacts, but do you value yourself when you’re alone? When there’s no more applause or someone telling you how wonderful you are, can you step up to the mic for yourself, and speak the same – in truth? If others can give you value, they can also take it away. You set the bar for your worthiness – first and only!
What other lies keep us from fully embracing our total worth? What truths can we use to repel self-deception? As we re-align ourselves with God’s thoughts (Truth), Love begins to work in us, and break the chains of low self-esteem. So let the chains cry! Dry your eyes, lift your head, and release any self-devaluing beliefs – Believe Love.
Prayer-note: “Dear Love, I quit ignoring the call to embrace more self-esteem. I’m ready to be worthy of all that I am.”