Follow the Invisible Leader


As a kid, I had no problem playing “follow the leader”. I was leadership-averse then. To me, it was safer to be a follower, or so I thought. You never had to worry about revolts, betrayal, or looking crazy…thinking people were following you when they were actually headed in the same direction, way before you came along.

Leadership involves people making a conscious, intentional decision to follow you. People who follow your lead say, “Aye Aye, Captain!” and give you a firm salute.

Is thaaat right?


Did you know that you are leading people everyday – some people you know, and some you’ve never even met?

Oh yeah.  People are watching you. Your mannerisms, how you carry yourself, what you allow and what you don’t allow, how you react to certain situations. They may not send up any red flares, nor whip out pen and paper when around you – but folks are taking note AND notes!

About what? I’m glad you asked.

Without even knowing it, people are learning FROM you how to TREAT you! How you respond and react to situations, and especially what and how much (foolishness) you allow – people learn from these actions exactly what you think and how you feel about yourself.

Notice, I didn’t say how you WANT to think and feel about yourself. We all want to love and treat ourselves better, kinder, with the utmost respect. But actions speak louder than intentions, and it is action that drives the takeaways we give others about ourselves.

We all may feel like invisible leaders. Invisible in the fact that we are not literally “signing up” followers, or consciously and intentionally performing a certain action to teach, guide, inspire, or get a rise out of folks.

But, in the grand scheme of things – that’s exactly what we are doing.

If you don’t realize that you are the leader teaching the masses how to treat you, then the only one who can’t see you is YOU.

So, it’s time for us to become more cognizant of how we treat ourselves.

Do you allow people to walk over you, and you make excuses for them – “that’s just the way so-and-so is.” Are you silent when you should rightfully speak up for yourself?  When someone attempts to give you a compliment, do you reject it with a negative observation about yourself?

Then, quit it!

If you’ve been leading others “astray”, you can make a decision and start NOW to re-teach others through improved self-love and respect.

That’s the beauty of teaching the course “How to Treat Me Exceptionally” – only YOU can teach it, no one else qualifies! So, what others see in your consistent leadership is what they’ll catch on to – even if it’s a shift from what they’ve learned before.

Know you. Be true to you. Love you. Be good to you…and the rest will follow.

6 responses to “Follow the Invisible Leader

  1. Wow! May I reblog this? This is an amazing, thought provoking read. I’m so glad you visited my blog and that I was able to find yours. Amen to ALL of this! Putting this into action starting now.

    • Are you kidding, Ebony? I would be honored…just got hip to reblogging on WP (just migrated/moved in), how groovy! Thanks for being so inspiring yourself – you started it LOL! Thanks again :-)!

      • Thank you so much! I sincerely appreciate it. FYI, I am going to be posting this to my blog “My Two Cents on Life” is my personal, random blog whereas JATSM is more focused on single mothers, single women and stay-at-home moms. I recently wrote a post about getting past how you got where you are and I think that this would be an excellent follow up to that.

        I would also like to invite you to be a guest blogger on JATSM some time. If you’re interested, go to the site and click the guest blogger tab. I’m happy to have connected with you and I don’t believe it was by coincidence at all.


      • One more thing! So sorry to bombard you. I’m just excited. Is your book done or in progress? If it is done how may I get a copy? I’d like to read and review it on JATSM, as well. If that would be okay with you.

  2. Reblogged this on Jesus and the Single Mom and commented:
    Recently, I had the pleasure of coming across the blog, “Dear Love, I Quit,” authored by a lovely woman by the name of Kim. From what I’ve seen, so far, Kim has a powerful message of redemption, self-love and self-awareness. This blog post, “Follow the Invisible Leader,” challenges you to take responsibility for how you teach people to treat you. Please take a moment to check out this post and show Kim some love!


  3. Wow, thanks so much for my 1st reblog, Ebony :-). I’m smiling cos this post started down one path, and ended up on another – a beautiful encouragement to writers to be flexible, let your words breathe and develop, and just go with the flow. Thanks for sharing the love with your readers.
    I’ll reach out directly, but absolutely!, would love to guest blog at JATSM. FYI, I’m still in labor with the book, but trust I will light up the world when it’s birthed :-)!
    Grateful for the connection, lady. Chat more soon, Love bless.

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