If I Have a Headache, You Have an Aneurism: Quitting the Misery Monopoly


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Have you ever met someone who, no matter what’s going on with you or the world around them, his/her story is always the saddest, the worse-est, the gloomiest?

For instance, if you have a headache, he has a migraine. If you have a migraine, she’s having an aneurism. Misery battles.  There is no way you’re going to beat them being the most miserable and unfortunate human being on planet Earth. Got anyone in your circles like that? Is this you? *eyes straight ahead*

Well, I have been on both sides of this fence a time or two in my life – shielding myself from their barrage of despair AND battling for my own claim to miserable fame. For years, I wore my “truth” of abuse, absentee Father/Daddy issues, clinical depression, suicidal, and a plethora of other doom and glooms on my sleeve.  My misery was justified and I had the honorary scar-badges to prove it.

Took one heck of a life-fight to quit re-telling those stories, get unstuck, and turn the pages of a life with less despair. Maybe you too are becoming aware of your addiction to sympathy and despair, and you’re ready to quit it…huh, are you?

As Love is at work for us in this area, here are some things WE can work on today to keep our gloom level to its all-time LOW:

1.  Reject the pity paycheck
Misery’s currency is pity, and when you are rich in pity, your personal growth goes BANKRUPT! Imagine a toddler learning how to walk, and a parent running to sympathetic rescue every time she fell down. Will that child ever learn how to walk, take a fall, get back up on her own two feet – No! Self-pity, pity parties, being over-stimulated by the sympathy of others sucks hidden strength from your being before you get a chance to tap into it.  Quit it, Quitters! Be your STRONG you! Don’t cheat your own personal growth and development with pity-pennies! You are worth more.

2. Remember there’s always someone worse off than you
Pass the mic, Quitters! Sometimes we hog the mic because we think no one else knows the song.  Truth is – somebody DOES know the trouble you’ve seen – and MORE!  No matter how valid our sadness, gloom, or despair may be, things could always be worse, and somewhere in the world – It is! Yes, we face some challenging times in our lives, but none of us has a monopoly on pain and suffering.

3.  Accentuate the positives
What you focus on, talk about, give energy to grows. Where are your accents? Do you emphasize that your car was almost paid off before it was totaled, or that you walked away from a totaled car with your health and well-being? When telling your stories of misery, do you realize that the breaths available to even speak signify that you still have life in your body to choose different, be better, grow, overcome, change, live nevertheless? It’s the little things, tiny seed blessings that will bloom if we’d just give them our attention.  So, if you really want to keep the glooms away, sprinkle your accents with a little gratitude – what we are grateful for grows!

You want to win, gain something, benefit from your pain. I understand; I do too! Become aware that whatever you think you gain from misery, gloom, and pity is NOT winning. Here’s how to benefit: Allow Love’s light to shine on your dark situation, and guide you to freedom. Give yourself and your stuff to God and trust the work of His Love. We all win when we can find strength in witnessing each other rise from the ashes of misery, and soar.  Fly, Quitters… fly!

Prayer-note: “Dear Love, I quit fighting for the monopoly on misery, and will fight for my right to discover my untapped strength and courage to overcome despair.”

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