Hey there, QuitterNation!
In a previous post, we talked about how we don’t get the help we need, because we don’t ask. How true it is that we have not because we ask not. But is there a flip side to our asking coin? Are there instances in life where “ask not” serves us best?
I believe the answer lies at the heart of our motives and intentions for asking. Our motives and intentions, when we look at them in truth and transparency, are a guide to whether we are truly in need, deserving, and in the proper position for receiving.
How will you use what you have received? How will you honor what others give you? Will the gift received find a purposeful place with you?
As you ponder these questions, think about the following categories of things you should quit asking for today:
1. Things that cost you nothing.
There may not be an equal, one-to-one exchange, and that’s okay. But do you put any skin in the game when you ask of others? Sure, the ride to work may cost a friend more than the $5 in your pocket, but do you offer gas money? Does your idea of reciprocity stop at, “Well, I said thanks, didn’t I?” Listen, it’s a kind gesture for all of us to do nice, just-because things for others. But if you’re constantly receiving from others – with nothing (substantive) offered or given in return – it’s high time to quit taking without giving (also called being a user).
2. Things that will cause others undue sacrifice.
Does it make you feel some kind of way to watch others scrape, sweat, and struggle to give what you ask? Sometimes, we need to take a step back, even if the person is willing, and withhold our requests due to the sheer sacrifice it costs the other person – especially if we’re just twiddling our thumbs, waiting for the big arrival. In our asking, it’s OK to relate to others, be empathetic, especially if we know their costs far outweigh our perceived need or benefit.
3. Opportunities and chances you have no intention of honoring.
Now, this is where honesty, transparency, and self-awareness gets real. Once you receive all that you’ve asked for, are you really in a position to “make good” on its use? Second chances in relationships, that loan for $1000, the promotion for which you know you’re not qualified… what are your TRUE motives and intentions? If you’re not ready to make good on the opportunities and chances others work hard to give you, then it’s past time to quit asking for them.
It all boils down to character. We wouldn’t ask for something we already have (uh oh, is this #4?!), so let’s maintain personal character that honors the gifts, chances, or opportunities we receive from others when we ask for them. To be honest, we understand this all too well when WE’RE the giver, sacrificer, way-maker, opportunity-provider…Let’s also be worthy, responsible ASKERS.