The decision has been made.
Perhaps you’ve brewed over pros and cons, mapped out your course of action for path A, B, and C (A won), or maybe you dived in head first, trusting your gut.
Now, you’re well on your way, almost to the middle. You took the job, you relocated to another city, you’re taking the first class, you took your last drink (before quitting) – and you’re at the point where it’ll take more work to uproot and reverse your choice, than to simply stay the course.
But if you’re anything like me, that doesn’t stop you from second guessing yourself:
“Did I really make the right decision?”
“What if I fail?”
“Maybe it’s not the right time.”
“What if there’s something better out there?”
How many times have we bailed on decisions or choices made with the above doubtful, fearful questions? Barring decisions that put us in real danger, or patterns of thoughtless living that require constant do-overs, we have to learn to make a decision, and stick with it.
As we approach Father’s Day, I remember my Dad (God rest his soul) once told me:
Second guessing voids perfection in the moment that was. ~ Bishop R.R. Johnson
Of course, to experience the truth in his words, I had to keep on living. I had to keep going and fully honor the decisions I’d made. Sometimes there was struggle, tears, regret, and then… brighter days, moments of clarity, and ultimately gratefulness! As I followed through to the end, and discovered the REASON WHY I needed to stay the course, I came out of the experience with life treasures I could use for the next journey. (That’s right, Quitters, at the end of one decision, it’s time to make another.)
The key is to not get hung up on over-guessing and post-analyzing your decisions. Here’s why second guessing is dangerous, and can be a threat to your life treasures. Second guessing…:
1. Denies a lesson that needs to be learned
Your greatest life treasures are intangible. They are the life lessons learned through experience and seeing a thing to the end. Second guessing threatens to keep you in the dark, in ignorance of what, where, how, why, and when to act or do. God knows the challenges that are 2, 5, or 10 years ahead on your path. But, if you act on a second guess and abort today’s mission, you will be inadequately prepared and will mostly likely spend time repeating the learning experience.
2. Denies God the opportunity to perform a miracle
Ever make a decision that turns into a total nightmare? Every step forward sends you 5 steps backwards. Thing are getting worse with no glimmer of ‘better’ in sight. Well, Quitters, rest assured. Not every horrible situation results from bad decision-making. Sometimes, God sends us a special invitation to witness a miracle – where we play the starring role! Don’t second guess your script; follow through and trust that the Author of your faith will cause you to finish strong and better off!
3. Slows progress toward the real goal
When you’re on your mission, you cannot be effective, alert, and observant by wasting time second guessing where you are. Put positive intent to flourish right where you are, not the 1,ooo,oo2 places you could’ve-maybe been. Often the “real” goal is the place 2 destinations from where you’re going now. You will keep up your purposed pace with proper focus. Forward (not backward) march!
4. Rejects the gift of contentment
There’s a life treasure for all of us called contentment. Some of us spend a ton of energy second guessing because we have not learned how to be grateful with what we have and how far we’ve come today. Sure, it’s great to aspire for more, but there’s peaceful contentment in not being overly-influenced by what we see others have or are doing – which leads us to second guess where we are. Sometimes, you don’t need more; you don’t need to move left, right, or backwards – you’re just fine where you are this moment…really, you are.
5. Immobilizes you as you attempt to predict the future
Quitters, it’s called a second “guess” for a reason. No amount of time or energy pouring over the facts (as you know them) will guarantee that you will predict an accurate outcome. If we were that good, we’d never need a SECOND guess – our FIRST guess would be on point! So, as you sit there ruminating, over-analyzing, and peering at your crystal ball, you’re stagnant. You’re stuck. Release yourself from the second guessing trap, put away your crystal ball, and keep moving forward to find the life treasures waiting to be discovered.
Hope this helps someone out there plagued by second guessing. Go ahead – give yourself permission to find your greatness in every decision and choice you make. Love is always there to support you – God is Love.