A PhD pro (Pleaser-helper-Doer) is a special type of Quitter who:
- has mastered the art of pleasing, helping, and doing for others, without loving regard for themselves.
- esteems the acceptance, recognition, connection, validation, or approval of others as Love.
- learns through quitting and proper alignment with Love, how to escape the prison of other people’s expectations, opinions, and demands.
I am a former PhD pro, so these Quitters are near and dear to my heart.
As a kid, I was taught the importance and mechanics of pleasing, as well as the negative consequences for refusing to be a pleaser (love withheld, rejection, abandonment). I carried this negative life lesson over into my teens and adulthood – needing and searching for (what I thought was) Love, and willing to do almost anything to get it (more of my story in the book).
But abuse, trauma, and the like are not the only seeds from which a PhD pro evolves. Some were overwhelmed by the initial feeling of appreciation (again, thought to be Love), and now work to find that initial euphoric high. Others define their access to Love as, “I am the only one able to supply [a need or want]”, and therefore the only one to receive the attention, recognition, honor…love.
I’ll cover some other PhD pro masks out there in the book and in future posts, but one thing holds true – all PhD pro masks eventually crack! I thought I was good, resilient, relentless, the higher the hoop the higher I jumped – but eventually the chaos catches up to reality, and you realize God never purposed you for a life as a doormat. There IS balance to “esteeming others higher than yourself.”
Knowing, believing, and accepting what Love says about you will free you from measuring yourself by others’ rulers, and awaken you to the beauty and richness you’ve had all along.
If through my words, I can guide one PhD pro to freedom in Love, I have fulfilled my purpose as an Overcomer.